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Sunday, July 26, 2009

Megan Fox is a Marketing Genius

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When Transformers 2 was making the rounds, Megan Fox traveled throughout the world looking sexy. Now she's promoting her new film Jennifer's Body, and also doing the sexy thing - but this time with her words, which is way better - if you're blind and they're translated to braille. Otherwise, she really needs to start stripping.

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"I think I'm pretty sexy in it," the actress, 23, said at the Comic-Con press conference for the movie (out Sept. 18). "The movie is SO sexy! You better put on your sexy shoes for this movie!"

In the film, in which Fox eats people, "there's sort of a hint of, a little bit of a lesbian relationship that happens. There's a girl-on-girl kiss. And beyond that, before every kill there is a seduction that occurs," Fox continues. "The boys have to be seduced to get in close enough to the dead girl in order for her to devour them."

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She doesn't mind freaking out an audience.

"It's cool to see myself being able to scare people, because I'm just a little girl," she says. "Look at me: I'm so sweet!" (Reuters)

Man, this girl is a genius at selling a film. Ok, who did Megan Fox just turn on? Let's see, we got the people who love Megan Fox, sexiness, lesbians, foot fetishers, guys with a 'Daddy's girl' thing, necrophiliacs, dude's who love to be bossed around by women and your mom. What, she's into Megan Fox? Is that so wrong?

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Showing one result for "Megan Fox" in Online shopping for HD DVD Movies.
Transformers (Two-Disc Special Edition) [HD DVD]Transformers (Two-Disc Special Edition) [HD DVD]
Buy used from: $1.60

Friday, July 24, 2009

Paris Hilton: 'Michael Jackson named his daughter after me'

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While attending the premiere of her MTV documentary Paris, Not France (above), Paris Hilton revealed to Extra that Michael Jackson's daughter was named after her:

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"My mom and Michael went to high school together and they were best friends since they were 13," Paris explains. "So I grew up knowing Michael very well and when he had his daughter, he always loved the name Paris and grew up being an uncle to me. So he asked my mom if it was okay and of course she said yes and I think she's such a beautiful little girl and I'm proud we have the same name."

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I don't know about you guys, but this is probably the most fucked up thing I've heard about Michael Jackson. Ever. I could find out I have repressed memories of him molesting me as a child, and I'd still be saying "Wait. He named his daughter after who now?"

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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Lindsay Lohan thought Mischa Barton partied too hard?

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In the wake of Mischa Barton's 5150 hold last week, it turns out Lindsay Lohan, who single-nosedly kept Colombia on the map during her entire working career, tried to warn her clubbing buddy that she was out of control. FOX 411 reports:

But last year, Lindsay walked away from the friendship after a messy Mischa pushed Lindsay over the edge. Sources close to Lohan tell Fox 411 that the two girls haven't spoken for months, but Lindsay would help Mischa if she asked for help to get through this latest fiasco.
"Lindsay and Mischa used to go out all the time together in Los Angeles. They were like kindred spirits when it came to clubbing and letting loose," says the insider. " They have many mutual friends, but everything shifted for Lindsay last year at a party. Mischa was completely out of control, and Lindsay sat Mischa down then to make it clear that she needed help. Lindsay was desperate for Mischa to clean herself up and offered a treatment facility and a therapist to help Mischa. Mischa completely ignored Lindsay, and that was the end."

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Lindsay Lohan told somebody they party too much. -- Am I in an alternate universe? No, seriously, I'm almost afraid to look out the window for fear of seeing cats driving cars. Next you're going to tell me the president's black.


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Friday, July 17, 2009

Lindsay Lohan hounding Ryan Seacrest about working with her

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You know what is the best way to resurrect your flailing career? Legend has it, you want to find one of the most powerful people in your industry, then go out of your way to annoy the crap out of them. This seems to be the sage advice Lindsay Lohan is following, since she’s taken what could have been a good thing with Ryan Seacrest (he’s also a big time producer, not just the host of ‘American Idol’) and ruined it by pestering the living daylights out of him. Lohan even went so far as to call him up and ask him to take a break from his radio program so that they could chat. Lindsay Lohan may not have a career or anyone’s respect, but she is still the center of the world damn it!

Seacrest… out? Insiders whisper Ryan’s now admitting he’s had second thoughts about launching a reality show with ditzy diva Lindsay Lohan! After two face-to-face meetings, Mean Grrrl started bombarding the busy host with needy phone calls, and here’s the shocker - she actually begged him to take a break from his LA morning radio show for a heart-to-heart chat! Said a source: “Ryan’s the busiest man in show business, and he should have known better than to enter Lindsay’s world. He’s now saying that compared to Lindsay, working with high-maintenance Kim Kardashian is a low-Maintenance job!”

Now for the REAL shocker: Pals snicker that despite her current taste for all things Sapphic, La Lohan’s developing a “thing” for Seacrest. Reportedly, he has “zero interest.” (REALLY??)

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[From the National Enquirer, Mike Walker's column, July 27, 2009, print ed.]

My God I hope Seacrest cuts her off. The last thing Lindsay Lohan needs is someone indulging her. Seriously, she knows her career is beyond in the toilet. It’s gone out to sea. She’s not in a position to make demands on anyone. The only thing Lohan should be doing is freaking begging. She should be calling Ryan Seacrest up and asking him if she can bring him a beverage. Anything it takes to ingratiate herself and be as pleasing as possible to Seacrest.

I can’t stand that spiky haired pocket person, but he has major clout in Hollywood. He’s a workaholic, and exactly the type of person Lohan should be around. I’m surprised Seacrest would even consider dealing with another Lohan after producing Dina Lohan’s reality show. But that must not have been the terrible experience I assumed it was since he’s toying with the idea of adding Lindsay to the roster.

Lohan – get yourself a mop and a broom, stat. And start cleaning Seacrest’s house. Then move on to the garden. Show him you’ll actually work – and do whatever it takes – and you might deserve another chance. And keep your pants on.


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LiLo admires her character in Labor Pains because ‘it’s easy for her to lie’

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[From ABC Family ]

Well at least it’s a unique film and not a cheesy, trite cliché. ABC also has some clips with Lohan, which reveal her favorite thing about her character is that she’s a liar.

“I love Thea’s Character because she’s very clever. It’s very easy for her to lie and get away with things, which is interesting to watch. I love how also she’s very caring.”


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[From ABC Family ]

It’s great that that’s the first attribute Lohan starts with. “I love this person because they’re a fantastic liar.” I mean if that’s not someone’s strongest attribute, I don’t even want to talk to them. Don’t waste my time with the “truth.” Lohan’s a pretty bad liar herself, constantly caught in contradictions and all out B.S. So it’s no surprise she’d be envious of someone capable of effectively manipulating others. That might explain some of Lohan’s awkward acting.

People were hoping this movie would get Lohan back on the right track, career-wise. I don’t think anyone thought she’d win any awards for it, but maybe prove she was still a decent actress. Unfortunately the whole thing is a stinker – I mean it’s airing on a network known for fine programming like “My Fake Fiance” with Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence. What an auspicious group Lohan’s joined.

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Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Michael Jackson is gay? I don't see it.

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A new book about Michael Jackson will reveal the King of Pop was a closeted homosexual who had various secret affairs with men. Or at least he thought they were secret, but "virtually everyone" around Michael, including his family, knew he was gay. The Sun reports:

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Biographer Ian Halperin claims to have tracked down two of the superstar's alleged male lovers. One, who Jacko was "madly in love" with, met him for liaisons at a grungy motel which was all the debt-ridden star could afford.
And one told Halperin: "The very first time he had sex with me he said, 'The King of Pop's going to lick your lollipop'. I still laugh thinking about that."
Halperin makes the bombshell allegations in his book Unmasked: The Final Years of Michael Jackson, for which he claims to have interviewed many people who told him Jacko was gay.
He said: "Virtually everybody has told me. Even those who are his most ardent defenders, people who maintain he is innocent of the molestation charges, insist that he is homosexually inclined."
He claims the two lovers he traced were a Hollywood waiter and an aspiring actor, "Lawrence".
The actor boasted they met almost every night for three weeks at his Hollywood Hills home in a short but passionate affair.
Lawrence added: "He was very shy. But when he started to have sex, he was insatiable."

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Somewhere Macaulay Culkin and Corey Feldman read the words "The King of Pop is going to lick your lollipop" and laughed. "Can you believe that line still works?" They''ll chuckle. "But not with me. Not with me. No, seriously, shut up. I hate you!"


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Russell Brand shoots down Lindsay Lohan

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Despite an on/off relationship with Samantha Ronson, Lindsay Lohan reportedly attempted to hook up with Russell Brand last weekend at Diddy and Ashton Kutcher's Fourth of July party. Surprisingly, Russell turned her down even though he has a reputation for fucking pretty much anything in sight including a ton of prostitutes in Vegas Saturday night on Diddy's private jet. The Sun reports:

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A source said: "Lindsay is a very good-looking girl and she is used to getting what she wants. Russell has been on her radar for a while now but he doesn't want anything to do with her. He finds her constant craving for attention and her heavy drinking a turn-off. It's not like he is short of female attention anyway." The comic jetted to Las Vegas with P Diddy yesterday and on a video blog, filmed en-route on the rapper's private plane, the pair joked that they would be using the services of some ladies of the night.


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Jesus. Getting shot down by Russell Brand? That's like having a dildo sprout legs and say "Hell no, lady" before jamming itself in a light socket. Or Paris Hilton. Same diff.


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Jessica Simpson is single

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Jessica Simpson and longtime boyfriend Tony Romo called it quits on Thursday, the day before Jessica's 29th birthday, according to People:

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"She is heartbroken," says the source. "She loves Tony. But it's been difficult lately. He's busy with his career and she's getting ready to shoot her show (The Price of Beauty). They decided to part ways."
The Dallas Cowboys quarterback fueled breakup rumors when he showed up with about 14 friends at the Hollywood hotspot MyHouse on Friday night without the birthday girl, a source tells PEOPLE.
Simpson had planned to throw a Barbie and Ken-themed party for her birthday, but it fell through, according to a message she wrote on her Twitter page Saturday. "Barbie party didn't happen, but I turned 29 and feel like I am on top of the world yelling I LOVE GETTING OLDER!" she wrote.

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Kudos to Jessica Simpson for getting dumped right before turning just shy of 30 and still taking it like a champ. Then again, it's not like she doesn't have large breasts that any man would kill to touch.

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Monday, July 13, 2009

Eva Longoria claims she likes to be tied up for sex

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Eva Longoria hasn’t been getting a lot of attention lately. Have you missed her? Yeah, I thought so. I have to give her some credit - she was getting totally overexposed, to the point where people were getting utterly bored with her, and she thoughtfully took a step back. She didn’t show up to every event, she didn’t put on another ball gown just for the opening of an envelope. I can’t even remember the last event I saw her and her overdressing habit. Maybe I just blocked her out of my mind.

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Anyway, it seems Eva had an public relations itch she needed to scratch, and now we’re being informed about some details of Eva’s sex life that I wish I could now erase from my mind. Eva participated in a “Best Ever Sex” survey specifically for “A-list celebs” according to The Sun. In the survey, Eva claims she likes to be tied up during sex. Now, it’s not that a little light bondage is gross to me (it isn’t), but I’m just a little creeped out because it’s Eva “Too Much Information” Longoria. And who really thinks Tony Parker is tying her up? Tony always looks like “What smells? What’s going on?” is his permanent internal monologue. I totally don’t buy it:


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Raunchy Eva Longoria has revealed she likes being tied up with silk scarves during lovemaking.

The Desperate Housewives star, who plays love-cheat Gabrielle Solis in the hit US show, made the confession in a “Best Ever Sex” survey of A-list celebs.

Eva, 34, said: “I’m not averse to being tied up with silk scarves, I like a man to take charge. There’s something very sexy about being submissive.”

Spider-Man star Kirsten Dunst, 25, told the Cosmopolitan survey she romped in a store changing room with actor Jake Gyllenhaal.

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Debbie Rowe Injected Jackson with Drugs

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Debbie Rowe
frequently injected Michael Jackson with drugs while she worked for Jackson's dermatologist, Dr. Arnold Klein.

We've obtained law enforcement documents from the 2005 molestation trial. Included in the records is an affidavit from a Santa Barbara County Sheriff's deputy who served a search warrant on Dr. Klein in 1993 to obtain Jackson's medical records during the first molestation investigation.

In the affidavit, the deputy writes, in August 1993, "...Ms. Rowe observed the back of Jackson's body while she gave him massages to help him sleep. Ms. Rowe also observed Jackson's buttocks on numerous occasions when she gave him injections prior to acne treatments."

The affidavit does not specify the type of drug Rowe administered. As we reported, Jackson sought out anesthesia and other sedatives for even minor procedures, including acne treatment.


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Jackson Doc Hid Medical Records, Deputy Says

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Turns out this isn't the first time Dr. Arnold Klein has resisted turning over Michael Jackson's medical records to authorities -- according to a Santa Barbara County deputy sheriff.

As we first reported, the L.A. County Coroner has requested medical records from Dr. Klein and authorities tell us he has not fully cooperated. But the same thing happened during the first child molestation investigation targeting Jackson.

We've obtained Santa Barbara Sheriff's Department documents from the 2005 Jackson prosecution. A deputy sheriff wrote an affidavit recounting that on November 19, 1993, she served a search warrant at Dr. Klein's Beverly Hills office, looking for Michael Jackson's medical records.

The deputy's affidavit says she spoke with Dr. Klein when the warrant was served. Her affidavit says, "Dr. Klein said that prior to the service of the search warrant on November 19,1993, he removed Jackson's medical files from his office at Mr. Andelson's (his Lawyer's) direction and kept the files in his home and car."

As for why authorities searched Klein's office -- Jackson's accuser in 1993 told authorities the singer's genital area had distinct color patterns because of vitiligo. Authorities believed Jackson may have obtained prescriptions to change the coloring of the area so the accuser's description would not match.


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Jackson's Docs Allegedly Manipulated Pharmacies

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We've obtained law enforcement documents from Michael Jackson's 2005 molestation trial -- and the depth of the singer's drug dependency is further surfacing.

As far back as 1993, Jackson was using aliases to score drugs, according to an employee at the Neverland Ranch. Joey Jeszeck, who worked security, told Santa Barbara County Sheriff's deputies in 1993 that Jackson would ask him "to go to a pharmacy and pick up his prescription for him." Jeszeck said sometimes the scripts were in the name of other people.

Jeszeck goes on: "Sometimes the pharmacy wouldn't release Jackson's medication to him since it was not in Jeszeck's name. Jackson would then call the doctor and have the prescription changed into the name of the person he was sending to pick it up."

Jeszeck said "one of these doctors was Dr. Farshchian in Florida."

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Sunday, July 12, 2009

Hayden Panettiere Does Your Body Good

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I was feeling down today. Yes, even I, the great Milkshake Dictator, can get a case of the old grumpies. I think it was because I stole some candy from the toddler out back, but it turned out to be a Mars Bar. Seriously, a Mars Bar.

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Ugh, freakin' kids. Anyway, I was blue, but that was only until I opened my email and was greeted by none-other than Hayden Panettiere. Oh, yes, both from her new Details Magazine bikini shoot and pics from the Enterouge premier. Hot damn, my world was suddenly filled with rainbows and sunshine and drunk-anything-goes-chicks again. I honestly think Hayden can cure any issue. World War? Add some Hayden.

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Homeless problem? Here, take a charity donation of Hayden. Global Warming? Make it hotter with Hayden... Actually, I don't think that would help. Still, it would be one hell of a way to go out. Boo yah!

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