Denise Richards in a bikini

Here's Denise Richards in Maui with her kids this morning. Anyone else get the feeling her daughters live in perpetual fear of getting doused with hot coffee because mommy can't focus on the camera and hold a cup at the same time? I'm also pretty sure they're the only preschoolers who know to pop a Xanax when Denise gets a call on the road. "Aw, shit, it's her agent. Helmets, everyone!"


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Chris Brown ducks jail time in plea deal

Chris Brown avoided jail time today after pleading guilty to the felony assault of Rihanna on February 8. She was at the courthouse to testify if the plea deal wasn't accepted. CNN reports:

Under terms of the agreement, Brown will serve five years of probation and complete 180 days of community service.
Los Angeles Criminal Court Judge Patricia Schnegg said Brown could apply to have his supervised probation transferred to Virginia, where he maintains his legal residence. He also can complete his community service there, she said, but it would have to meet the court's standards.
"I want Mr. Brown treated as any other defendant who comes to this court," Schnegg said.
Brown must also undergo domestic violence counseling, she said. But the judge noted he has no prior criminal record.

Well, now that this debacle is officially over, the important thing to remember is at least the message wasn't sent to Chris Brown's young fans that it's okay to beat your girlfriend because you probably won't go to jail the first time.

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Shauna Sand completely topless

Here's Shauna Sand in Miami realizing she has to up the ante to keep the paparazzi focused on her because, seriously, who the fuck is she? Also, the occasional nip slip and non-stop wearing of bikinis is getting predictable as hell. At this rate, the only thing interesting Shauna can do is raise the lost city of Atlantis out of the sea. Then flash her tits at it.


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Gisele Bundchen Looks Good in Blue

Gisele Bundchen was at a launch for a new Pantene haircare line and ended up flashing the crowd a little bit of blue underwear awesome. What I think happened is someone told Gisele that her underwear was showing, so she pulled up her shirt to look. Hmmmmm, I might be able to use gullibility for evil. Hey Gisele, I think I saw an ant crawl into your bra, you better take it off. Is that a rash? You may be allergic to denim, best lose those jeans too. Actually, just strip down to nothing, I read a study that said clothes might give you cancer and it's just not worth risking it. Trust me, I'm a pretend doctor.


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